I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
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