I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
