she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
