Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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