Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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