she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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