Porn is love you can see.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
