hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
