it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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