Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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