Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
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i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
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I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
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