"it" just moved
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
