wat bout pragnant strippers??
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
