I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
