Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
