6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
