we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize