how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
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That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
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Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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