I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
