Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
