I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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