he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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