I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
