I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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