I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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