They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We talked him into tasing himself.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
