he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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