I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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