I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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