you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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