Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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