uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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