whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
