dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
