I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
