I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
