the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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