idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
