i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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