Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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