I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
either way he was missing a nipple.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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