I hate all girls vehemently.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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