All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
