well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Man, jail baloney is awful.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
