I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
