I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
