Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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