you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
i now understand why vodka
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
