I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
