We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.