Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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