Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
