I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
