I just made out with a guy for $7.
Porn is love you can see.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
