I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
