The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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