Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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