im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize