I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
