he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
