I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
