shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
