dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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